Captain’s Log stardate 9/22/22 I wish that I could drop a captains log right about now. It has been 4 days since my surgery in a cruel twist of irony the bidet I was so excited about sits unused in my bathroom. Apparently, whatever Tom Cruise scientology stuff they do […]
Reviews
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So fresh, So clean
Everyone has flaws and I guess mine is that I am just so freakishly strong that the sheer might of me flexing tore my bicep muscle tendon. So now my right arm is reduced to that of a normal man. I am going to have to go under the knife […]
Random shit that happens to me
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The unholy aroma
Let me just preface this with it’s kind of gross so if you’ve got a weak stomach, kind of squeamish, or are a big ol baby just stop reading here. This is in no way a post advocating for the sweet delicious taste of copenhagen wintergreen (longcut of course) in […]
Random shit that happens to me
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I choked on an egg
One time many years ago my good friend juicy brought home a giant jar of pickled eggs to the bachelor pad, the diamond of rose st. Now my pallet is much more refined now and I probably wouldn’t partake of some sketchily prepared pickled eggs these days. However; as a […]
Random shit that happens to me
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That time I didn’t aspirate
So, I’m old after you hit 30 it’s basically like your body just says fuck it and decides to just randomly start falling apart like a toddler playing Jenga there’s no rhyme or reason to what’s gonna hurt when you wake up tomorrow. You slept wrong? Guess what, you now […]