Lincoln and I love to play a game every night before bed. He likes to see how much he can make mom laugh by beating the ever-living shit out of me while I just lie there and take it. It usually ends when mom is satisfied I’ve had enough when I’m curled in the fetal position weeping quietly she will call him over and he will go lie down and sleep all innocent and peacefully. Usually, that’s that every night our normal routine some hardcore abuse here maybe a bloody nose there he might change it up by trying to smother me with a pillow but it always ends when mom says its time to go night-night and he saunters off to neverland. Well, this night he decided I hadn’t had enough and took a detour back to the smackdown hotel. As in the pitch blackness I slowly let my guard down and relax my tensed up muscles for the next beating. When all of the sudden I felt like a bowling had just crushed my soul. I guess while I lie there all helpless he climbed to the third turnbuckle went ohhhh yeeeaaahhhh and jimmy supafly snuka’ed a diving headbutt straight to my family jewels. “Aaaarrrrggghhhb HE JUST DIVING HEADBUTTED ME IN THE DICK! ( pardon the language I was in a lot of pain) I screamed as I writhed in sheer agony for what seemed like an eternity all the while my wife’s bellowing cackle of laughter echoed throughout the house her face now streaming with tears. Now kids are highly impressionable and soak up information like a sponge so beware what you say, Lincolns limited vocabulary grew by one in that instant. As I felt my soul slowly coming back to my body I heard a gleeful screaming chant of ” DICK! DICK! DICK! DICK! ” interspersed with the giddy laughter of a child’s innocence I blacked out from the pain. Having kids is wonderful